Turning 30 | Raindrops of Sapphire

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In 3 days time on August 3rd, I will be turning 30 years old. If you had asked me when I was younger where I expected to be by the time I had turned 30, I would have assumed I would be living in my own house, married, hopefully working, and just living that general lifestyle. I had many hopes and dreams when I was little: I wanted to be a princess, a vet, a doctor, an actress, a fashion designer… the sky was the limit for my thoughts, but nobody could have prepared me for where I’m actually at.

It’s crazy to think that 30 years have now gone by since I was born. 30 years is a long time when I think about it, it’s madness. There were some points in my life where I didn’t even know if there was a future, or I couldn’t even see myself getting past my teenage years as they were really hard with illness and bad situations etc, so to think I have come out the other side, it’s an achievement. My whole life has been up and down, and after being diagnosed in April with Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, I feel like I am in a much better place. I know what’s wrong, doctors now take me seriously, I have ways to cope with symptoms and I’m getting stronger mentally. With that in mind, I thought I would turn this post into a look back at what I’ve achieved, what I’m grateful for, and a general giving thanks blog post for where I am at now. Some of the things I have achieved include:

  • Meeting and getting engaged to Adam, being in a wonderful relationship with him
  • Building my own businesses and blogs from scratch with barely any help
  • Collaborating with amazing brands I could only have dreamed of
  • Being invited to Florence in Italy to be with Luisaviaroma for a few days
  • Designing jeans with brands that went on sale and sold out
  • Being featured in magazines and online publications
  • Winning blog awards and being a finalist in various others
  • Modelling in a photoshoot for ASOS magazine
  • Previously being the editor of DenimBlog and running the site
  • Being able to buy my own designer items, saving up my own money for them
  • Being able to go on holiday, eat out at restaurants, enjoy life without panic attacks
  • Tackle my health problems and try to get on top of them
  • Getting to know a lot of you, give you advice, and build a community
  • Generally being happy and content with who I am and how I look
  • Making a difference in animals and peoples lives by helping them
  • Becoming more understanding and open to everything after learning Buddhism
  • I would like to think I’m a lot wiser now I’m older, by a huge amount

This one is another achievement too, as after helping Adam start up his own blog and he’s now got a career in it, we got to do a photoshoot with Digby from Made in Chelsea a couple of weeks ago and that was amazing! I wouldn’t have thought that was something I could have done before. It was so good! He’s a really nice guy, funny, down to earth, and even though I was exhausted and had to rest for a few days after, it was worth it! I can only imagine there will be more cool things like this in the future! Well, I hope so!

Some of those might not seem important to others, or even an achievement, but to me, they sure are. I’m really proud of myself for coming this far and as much as I don’t like to toot my own horn because I prefer to keep my successes to myself and look to the future, it probably is about time I acknowledged what I have done and how far I have come, taking a step back to look at the long road I’ve travelled on, rather than constantly thinking what is next or that it’s not enough yet. I’m very driven, but sometimes I can get lost within that drive and be too hard on myself. This is why I wanted to write this post. I’ve been stuck on it for quite a dew days, with complete writers block as it’s not something I usually do, celebrating my achievements, it’s an alien feeling, but I’m pushing myself to do it in order to help my growth, in the least big headed sounding way possible – I hope.

Of course I want to look to the future as well, but by not being so hard on myself. I don’t have a bucket list as I don’t see much sense in having a list of things I have to do before a certain age, purely because if I want to do something, I will do it when I can. If you have to fit something ‘fun’ in on a time limit, it takes the fun away from it and makes it stressful instead, and given that things like travel and going places is harder for me as I have to make adjustments and things, I will get there when I can, so Disneyland Paris is still on hold, as is flying on a plane, but who knows what the future brings!

Regarding my health, I’ve come such a long way and am doing so much better, especially with my stress levels, meditation, supplements, managing the EDS etc that I’m actually really happy. I’m having many more good days than bad and I have such a supportive family and small network of close friends that it’s made much easier. I’m extremely lucky in that respect. I’ve always been the type of person that likes to do everything on my own and be independent, but I have to accept the fact that I can’t always do that and people are there for me, which I’m so grateful for. I’m starting physio at the end of August and I can’t wait to try and build up my joints, which hopefully will mean I can do more things in the near future, but as long as I keep a positive mindset and remain happy, I will just get on with things and keep finding ways to do what I want.

I can’t thank you all enough for taking time out of your day to read my blog posts and follow me on my journey. It truly means the world to me that I have the support and love from you all, in this community that’s been built. You’re all amazing and you’re a lot of the reason that I’m in the position that I am in now, so my thanks is going to everyone right now, to all of you who follow me, Adam, my family (mum, dad, brother and grandparents), my friends (Sarah, Kieran, Ben and Andy), the animals that are around me, and the general positive vibes I get from nature. I’m very lucky, but I hope it can show to others that if you set your mind to something, even if you have many obstacles in your way, you can achieve what you want. Success looks a lot like hard work, as the famous quote says. I hope this blog post can pep you up for the day and I hope you can celebrate your own goals too! Lorna xx.

P.S. – My main concern right now is telling people I’m 30 when I get asked my age. It was hard enough saying I was 29 and getting told I look 20, so actually not being in my 20’s anymore and telling people that is a scary prospect, ha ha. I’m sure they wont believe me even more now, but I was under the impression we lied about our age to make ourselves younger, not older!

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